The Work Blanket
*
A woman of insufferable attitude here at work has recently taken to wearing a blanket around the office. It actually looks like a giant, plaid scarf, but I just like saying that word. Blanket.
Me: Hey. Why are you wearing that blanket?
Her: Tee-hee! It's not a blanket, it's a wrap! Tee, hee!
Me: (growing irritated already): Okay then, why are you wearing a fucking wrap? What are you, a burrito?
Her: Tee-hee! No, silly! I'm just cold!
Me: It's 24 degrees in here. I'm sweating, it's so hot, you stupid bimbo.
Her: Well, I'M cold! Tee-hee!
Me: You're retarded.
Turns out she's pregnant.
I suspect the Work Blanket is all about concealing her growing fatness, and has nothing to do with specious reasoning like, "I'm cold." I know I'm right, because guys like me are right about everything.
*
posted by Wardo @ 12:44 p.m.
2 comments
2 Comments:
You should outdo her by cloaking yourself in an even bigger blanket while at the office. Preferably one that drags along the ground as you walk.
Yes, you would be in drag. I would enjoy seeing the static electricity accumulating as you strutted around the office. You could deliver powerful shocks to certain Norwegian assistants.
Post a Comment
<< Home