Watching TV with Wino and his Brother

"Look, if I had to pick between the two, I guess I'd do Pam Anderson. But if both of them have herpes, it cancels each other out," Wino says.

I point at a dog I see on the tv. "Would you eat dogshit for a hundred dollars?"

"No," Wino says.

"A thousand?"

"No."

"Five thousand?"

"No! Dog shit is toxic. It's waste from your body. I wouldn't eat it. I don't care what you pay me."

"Sure you would, for five grand. You're being silly. If someone is handing you five grand to eat the dog shit, I know you'd do it. Like, here you go, five grand, all you have to do is eat this dog shit. You aren't going to turn that down, no way," I say.

Wino's brother Stogey comes in. He just had a smoke outside. "Five grand? To eat dog shit? I'd do it!" he says.

I'm triumphant. "See? He knows he'd do it. You're being stubborn. For five grand, you'd be there with a knife and fork."

Stogey frowns. "I don't have to eat the whole loaf though, do I? I'll do it for a bite."